Feeling Helpless? Coping Skills Anyone Can Use During the Cancer Journey
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How many times have you gotten down on yourself for feeling like you couldn’t do anything for someone going through a tough time? Helplessness is a common feeling especially when watching a loved one suffer through the cancer experience.
Helplessness is the belief that there is nothing that anyone can do to improve a bad situation (such as being diagnosed with an illness). In many ways, helplessness is a belief that you don’t have control over the situation or its outcome. This simply just isn’t the case.
As someone who cared for her husband during his cancer diagnosis, I’ve learned a thing or two about feeling helpless! In addition to feelings of guilt, frustration, anger, worry, regret, and sadness. It can be tough! Not only was I feeling helpless, but my husband admitted he also felt helpless for ME!!
How to overcome the feeling of being helpless:
Here are some of the ways I wouldn’t let helplessness take over during the time I was caring for my husband. These are coping skills anyone can use when feeling helpless!
Embrace It
First of all...embrace the feelings. I know!! Who wants to embrace the feeling of being helpless? Ignoring the feelings won‘t make them go away. Giving yourself permission and allowing yourself to accept the fact that you will not know what to do in every situation will open up mental space for you to cope, and allow yourself to find creative ways that are helpful. If you let yourself really feel it can be empowering, giving you inspiration and trust in your ability to handle future situations when they arise.
Identify The Stories
Pay attention to and listen to the story you may be telling yourself. Most often our thoughts are just that…stories that we tell ourselves that come from a place of fear, judgment, or criticism. I like to identify these stories as a ‘mini me’ sitting on my shoulder making excuses, blaming, and being judgmental. I like to acknowledge the mini me, thank her for showing up, and letting her know the thoughts she brings in aren’t the facts and I won’t let them define the situation. I lovingly flick her off my shoulder and tell her to take a back seat! I’ve learned to have a little fun with this…I like to remind that mini me she isn’t welcome in my head space unless she brings encouragement, love, and compassion. After years of flicking her off my shoulder, she still sneaks in from time to time…but I’ve gotten better about recognizing her before she creates too much havoc.
Accept Your Limitations
No matter how hard you try, sometimes you may need to accept the reality that there isn’t anything you can do at the moment. Accept this and move on. Instead of being hard on yourself, celebrate what you’ve been able to accomplish along the journey (big or small). These celebrations offer hope and provide a sense of having control over the situation.
Feelings Are Part Of Any Cancer Journey
Being mindful of your feelings will create a greater capacity to deal with stressful situations. You will be less likely to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets. Recognizing being helpless is a normal part of any journey will help improve your mental and physical health as well.
Essential Oil Support
As part of a daily routine, we use essential oils aromatically in our home for emotional support. Essential oils are widely used for their physical health benefits however they also have powerful emotional healing. One of my favorite resources to pull out when identifying what oil to use for emotional support is the Essential Emotions book.
If you are looking for the perfect addition to support feelings of helplessness or other emotions you will want to check out the Aroma Essentials essential oil kit. This starter kit includes everything you need to get started for emotional healing! All the right oils and a diffuser.
Imagine getting ten of the best oils that create a positive environment, reduce anxious feelings, create a calm, relaxing, and tranquil atmosphere. As a bonus you’ll get immune support, healthy respiratory function, and a restful environment for sleeping!
